Ask A. Leon 2-22-10

Hello A.Leon,

I have a real big crush on my boyfriends sister. She is
so smart and she loves shopping and partying just as
much as I do. If you haven't guessed by now I am
bisexual woman and even though my boyfriend knows this
he would totally freak out if he knew that I longed for
his older sister. I'm 22, he's is 24,she's 27 and I just
totally wanna be with her but I don't want to hurt my
boyfriends feelings. We have been dating for 2 years and
our relationship has kind of hit a dry spell. He doesn't
like to shop but instead spends his money on video games
and his car. You know what he got me for Valentines Day?
I freakin NASCAR Snuggie and a Wii Fit! What is he
trying to say I'm Fat?! His sister sometimes catches me
stairing at her and smiles but I don't know how to
interpret that.I haven't felt this way inside before
about another woman and I don't know what to do.

A.Leon PLEASE HELP!

Sincerely,
Peaches



Greetings Peaches,

Wow what a fruity name. I did a little research before
responding to your email because I feel it is important
to undestand your human terms to better deconstruct your
delinmas. You are like the 2 headed asexual Nirvops in
the Red Sector who cannot choose between plus and minus
genders to reproduce so they eat their own heads in a
fit of indecision. You are in a tight spot Peaches
because you are engaging in a family affair for the lack
of better adjectives and that can be more harmful to
your emotional status if said sister is asked to choose
as you have obviously taken the liberty of doing thus
far. This Snuggie device must be a earthly sign of deep
affections because many earth males are bestowing such
gifts upon their mates in record preportions. I would
reccomend that you close one door before opening another
because if that second door is left open while the
coordinates of a Vectron worm hole are being injected
you could end up alone,in the dark,naked and shivering
with nothing but a proton bar and three qualots in the
fold of your @#$% because you no longer have a wallet
and your!!!.....Oh sorry I just had a terrible flash
back...One moment please....Okay so Please be careful of
what you wish and long for because when you get it, it
may not come with a return reciept, or return coodinates
for that matter.

Regards from Mars,

A.Leon

Weekend Warriors Pt. 1

Are you a weekend warrior? Well first let me define what it is to be a weekend warrior.

Main Entry: weekend warrior

Function: noun
Date: 1981
: a person who participates in a usually physically strenuous activity only on weekends or part-time.

In most cases it's  more of a mental and creative strain on the brain and also the pockets.
Weekend Warriors make extra money, plan events, provide unique services and even travel out of town to seek out untapped markets. In the internet age we are fortunate enough to have a far reaching network but one thing's for sure this does not compensate for good old time. You know? The time you are suppose to spend with your family, or healing and relaxing from the "work" week.

In this economy extra time to most people means more opportunity to make additional money. Hey that water bill is not going to pay itself buddy. So look, you have to get more bang out of your time so this is going to require a few personal adjustments.

TWEAKS

1) Stop Bull$%*# online and actually take 30-45 mins to be productive a day. Facebook, Twitter and Myspace are not going anywhere but your potential clients are, to other businesses.
2) Create a Mindmap of all your ideas so that you can see where you are going and what tools and resources are neccessary. Also helps you check off or add based on changing trends.
3) Take small bites so that you can digest the ideas and scope of a project instead of spreading yourself thin and doing a poor job. Dessert taste so much better when it is not rushed :)
4) Know your Allies (Not always a Person or People) and keep them close. So if you work best at 6am before the kids wake up then take advantage of the quiet time and get about 20-30 minutes of work done. Your brain is fresh in the morning as well. Also if you have someone in your corner that really "gets" what you are trying to do and advocates your business without conditions then bring them on board and reward their support. You will find great value in productive partnerships.
5) Don't take No for an answer. Sure it's an Answer but it is NOT the only answer. For every 5 No's there are at least 2 Yes's out there. Let's face it a fool and his or her money will soon part BUT a valued customer parts with his/her money by way of a good product and a good reputation which doesn't come easily.
6) If you have children around let them help you. This does two things, one it allows your kids to see the value in your work and your passion( which are good traits to pass along) and secondly kids say the darndest things and have the most honest questions and as adults we forget what it is like to be the empty glass. A good question can create a great resolution Trust Me.

Okay, I think that is enough for now 7-10 coming in the Pt. 2

Tiger? Is anybody home?

It speaks for itself. He should have apologized to his wife and family and picked that club back up.

The world is very different now!

DM

John Mayer is a Human Being

John Mayer has been in the hot seat for the last few weeks due to his comments during a recent Playboy interview . Okay so instead of getting all "Who's right or who's wrong" I am going to say this why is it that when an entertainers says something crazy like this people go nuts and start passing judgement and getting all holier than thou? The guy is interviewing for Playboy not People magazine! He's a musician who has a pretty solid career, who banged Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson did some cool skits with Dave Chappelle show and tongue kissed Perez Hilton just to piss him off. What's makes him the cherub of the free world. Okay before I continue lets look at what as said:

"I don't think I open myself to it," Mayer said of dating black women. "My d--- is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f-----' David Duke c---. I'm going to start dating separately from my d---."

-Mayer also spoke about "why black people love me."
“Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a 'hood pass?' " he told Playboy. "And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a 'hood pass, you could call it a n---a pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a 'hood pass if you really have a 'hood pass? But I said, 'I can't really have a 'hood pass.' I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.' "

Damn people we have homeless people on the street, abused children at home and you want to attack John fuckin Mayer? What about Haiti? What about the economy? What about New Orleans? What about attacking METRO for providing us shitty service before and after apologizing for the inconvenience. I just don't see, wrong or right where waisting time online or on Twitter amounts to anything when it comes to John Mayer's taste in women. Robert DeNiro Loves/prefers black women and you didn't see white women boycotting his movies although they should have for Righteous Kill, Yuck! But seriously, Let's talk to Gucci Mane and all the other Hip Hop icons about degrading the sisters before we come to arms over this guy.

I know my views are not popular but hey If you don't THINK it I won't say it

Regards,
Dr. Manwine

Brain Fart= The Longaberger 7-story basket building

Just so you all should know a “Brain Fart” is when I cannot think of anything entertaining to say so I search the web for amusing stories or topics that will make you chuckle in your cubicle.


Low and behold the The Longaberger 7-story basket building. That’s right! I did not pull this out my assstine martin this is a real building in Newark, Ohio.

Here’s the skinny. What started out as a dream by Dave Longaberger, Founder of The Longaberger Company, has been built into a giant basket to house the entire corporate offices of the company. Dave believed the idea was one of his best and would draw attention to the company, while simultaneously helping to build our brand. However, when he started spreading the idea of building a Home Office that was really a basket, he found that most people just thought that Dave was making a joke as Dave was a notorious practical joker. Not only did the bankers, architects and construction companies not take Dave seriously, neither did many of the employees who worked for The Longaberger Company, but Dave persevered. One of Dave's most admirable attributes was that when he had a dream and believed in it, he always found a way to accomplish it, and he did. Dave's dream was achieved on December 17, 1997 when the Home Office that is designed to resemble a basket finally opened for business.

In 1998, The Longaberger Home Office also received a Build Ohio Award for its synthetic plaster system. The building is made of stucco over a steel structure, which helps create the look of an actual Longaberger Basket®. The Home Office continues to attract the attention of media from around the world, even as far away as Tokyo.

While the exterior of the Home Office is a marvel in itself, the building's interior is truly breathtaking. A grand staircase, player piano and marble floors are just part of the beautiful décor of the building's seven story atrium. The majority of the cherry woodwork used in the Home Office was harvested from the Longaberger Golf Club in Hanover; dried in our facility; sawed and shaped at our Construction Woodshop; finished in our Construction Paint Booth and installed by our Construction Division.

So if you want to have a romantic picnic but it's raining cats and dogs outside go check this place out and just hope some giant doesn't emerge from the distance with an apetite for little chocolate or vanilla humanoids ;)
 
Regards,
Dr. Manwine

JUST SNOW ME

The Blizzard of 2010!

Dear Blizzard,

Hey this is Dr. Manwine and I just wanted to thank you for giving us such a beautiful winter snow storm. It was more than enough and made my life so much better. I was able to throw my back out, pay Pepco a ridiculous amount for heating my home, eat more snacks, grow a beard, sleep more, stay home from work and my favorite, shovel more and more snow. Now I know you didn't mean any harm and hey we probably deserved it. But damn Winter you didn't have to do the east coast like this. So, in the event you decide to come back I will be further south at a pool or at a pool hall but I will not get stuck in long lines at the grocery store or drive clear across town NOT to find a shovel. I will sip my brew and watch you from a far on the News.

Chow,

Doc

LongAxe Presents: Lost In Translation (Sampler)

LongAxe Presents: Lost In Translation (Sampler) from Troy Taylor on Vimeo.

This is Visually Stunning

macro kingdom from clemento on Vimeo.




Operation: Toyland from clemento on Vimeo.



This is serious art, I enjoyed every frame

ONE BEER LEFT

Please drink responsibly during Super Bowl Weekend


Please?

Featured artist: Beastman

Beastman (Brad Eastman) is an artist, designer and photographer based in Sydney, Australia. Using acrylic, ink and aerosol he produces intricately detailed artworks depicting a parallel world of scaly skinned, bold outlined, beast-like characters gripped by fear, anger, stress, jealousy, lust, confusion and paranoia.

Years of skateboarding has strongly influenced Beastman's characters, concepts and unique style, developed over a many years of drawing in sketchbooks and shooting photos. Heraldry, symmetry, family, friendship, nature, the ocean, violence, spirits, birth and the afterlife are all themes which are becoming more and more evident in his artwork.